The New Daddy Chronicles

I would like to first take a moment this Monday morning to give a very special thanks to Cat aka “Mama Nut” for a spectacular feature of the New Daddy Chronicles on her blog 4 Nuts in a Nutshell.  It is a great kickoff to what is bound to be an unforgettable Father’s Day Week!   Click here to read yesterday’s feature on her site.

If you haven’t noticed or if this is your first time visiting, I’ve finally committed to a new theme for the site!  There will probably be some design tweaks along the way as I am learning to work with GIMP for image editing. If you haven’t heard of it before… it’s free and awesome! ‘Nuff said!

Now on to the weekend update:

This weekend, my wife and I took the twins to the Outer Banks of North Carolina to visit a good friend.  The most sensible travel option for us was to drive this time, which usually takes about 2.5 hours.  Since neither of us bothered to check the forecast, we found ourselves stuck in a pretty brutal thunderstorm, needless to say, the trip took much longer than expected (about twice what it should have!)  Surprisingly enough, the Wonder Twins slept almost the whole way, only fussing briefly toward the final 20 minutes stretch.  This was easily resolved by Mom climbing in the back seat to make funny faces and sing songs.

I’ve realized that we’re actually getting pretty good at bringing the twins out places.  Although it might seem a bit chaotic to some, we’re really starting to get into the swing of it!  So far we’ve flown together with both babies, as well as flown separately with one baby each.  We’ve also taken them to a handful of day-long events that had a large number of new people for them to meet.  We’ve even taken them swimming!!! This trip introduced a new kind of time and crisis management for us to experience, since you’re pretty limited in what you can do in a moving car.  All in all, we learned what works as well as what doesn’t work.

Here are a few takeaways from the weekend:

1. ALWAYS check the weather forecast before taking a roadtrip!
2. Babies + Car ride = Quiet sleepy babies
3. Pack ‘n Plays are an awesome travel companion
4. Babies look adorable in swim suits
5. Be flexible in your scheduling.  You CANNOT rush a baby or they will puke all over your plans.  Literally!  Here’s an example of having your plans unravel despite rigorous planning:  Just as we were almost ready to go, baby girl spit up on my good shirt.  After changing into a new one, baby boy spit up all over his good shirt! After changing baby boy, baby girl threw up 3/4 of her bottle all over her pretty outfit, after changing baby girl, baby boy spit up on my wife’s pretty dress.  Defeated, my wife decided to wipe her dress off and embrace the pukefest.  You would think we were square dancing! I could almost hear the guy saying: “NOW PROMENADE YOUR PARTNER!!!”

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I know, I know… it’s been quite some time since my last post! Thank you all for your patience, support and words of encouragement during a difficult season.  For any of you whom don’t follow me on Twitter or Facebook, we’ve had some health issues that we were dealing with regarding baby girl as well as both of our moms.

I will keep this post short and sweet so that I can get back to working on new topics for the New Daddy Chronicles.  Life has been unpredictable, but amazing.  I’ve seen tragedy bring families closer together, and have been witness to the majesty of strength in the midst of crisis.  Thankfully, our infant daughter– one half of our dynamic baby duo– is thriving despite a serious battle with dietary deficiencies.  My wife and I have undergone significant growth in a short amount of time, but our family is stronger as a result.

There will be many changes in our lives that are coming up around the corner, but I am confident that through it all, our family will remain steadfast, and that together we will get to where we need to be.  Being a daddy has been such an amazing experience, and I receive my reward everyday when I witness the joy of their smiling faces.

I am excited to begin sharing my life with you all once again.  Stay tuned for more New Daddy Chronicles, from tales of twin shenanigans, to tips and tidbits of knowledge I pick up along the way.

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I had mixed emotions when my wife announced to me that she had scheduled our first “playdate.”  Feelings of nervousness for fear of getting the twins sick were combined with feelings of excitement for finally being around other people who could relate to us.  This wasn’t just any playdate… this would be a daddy-baby play date.

My wife planned to attend a consignment sale held by the local area Mothers of Multiples group with one of her friends, and arranged to have the dads hang out with the kids.  I was excited for two reasons: First, to get the twins out of the house and experiencing the world, and Second, to interact with someone who is familiar with my situation.

I felt like I was being dropped off at the playground, but in an instant something magical happened… the babies needed things! My son began fussing, my daughter needed to have her bottle warmed up, and his daughter needed to have her snack! We were dads… responding to the needs of our children, making playful silly faces and getting the job done.  It was then that I realized that as Dads, we were the same, aiming to reach a common goal.

There’s something empowering about being in the presence of another Dad… not just someone who has procreated with his wife, but someone who is out in the trenches playing an active role in taking care of his children.  We exchanged stories and compared Diaper bags.  I learned that the only thing cooler than my DiaperDude, was his Diaper Vest, complete with changing pad built into a special side pocket!  Since we were both in the IT field, we were able to talk shop on many levels… diapers, marriage, annoying end users, email platforms, iPhones, blogs, and Twitter… there was never a dull moment!

Needless to say, we all had a great time.  My wife got her much needed girl time, the twins got some great outfits, and I got to bond with another Dad and brother in arms.

On this Fatherhood Friday I want to remind all you Dads and Dad bloggers of the world that you are not alone.  Though our circumstances may be different on many levels, we are all in the front lines working as hard as we can to care for our children; to love them, to teach them and to mold them into good people.

Let’s continue to reach out and share with one another!

Fatherhood Friday is a new weekly theme from DadBlogs.  Come visit other Dad Bloggers and see what they’ve got to say on this Fatherhood Friday!

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This weekend, my wife and I took the twins to visit my family in New York.  Although we both would have preferred driving up, a six-hour drive would have easily become a 10-12 hour drive with the amount of stops we would have had to take.  As a result, we decided to fly.  After clearing it with our pediatrician, we booked our flight and braced ourselves for what would undoubtedly be an interesting trip.

The week leading up to our trip was spent planning out what we would need to pack, how we would pack it all, what we would do once we got there, and how we would get around.  My wife took on the crucial task of compiling the list that we would use to execute this massive undertaking.  Thanks to my wife’s incredible planning skills, our packing went off without a hitch and we never once experienced that “Did we forget something?” feeling.

We had the entire morning planned out down to the minute.  The car was packed the night before and my Diaper Dude was adequately stocked to accommodate any possible situation we might face.  The babies were fed by 5:30am and we were on the road to the airport by 6:15am with adorably dressed sleeping babies on board.  I loaded the twins into our double stroller and dropped my wife off with them at the terminal.  It was early enough to find airport parking at the nearest lot and I was helping my wife check in within 15 minutes… we were a finely-tuned machine! We were rockin’ and rollin’!

And then came airport security…

The word “nightmare” can only describe a small portion of the airport security experience.  With 4 carry-ons, 2 car seats, 4 bins filled with our sneakers and coats we completely took up one entire conveyor! We unbuckled the twins and held them as the TSA worker asked me to collapse the double stroller in order to jam it into the machine.  “I don’t think it will fit” I said.  “Let’s see” he replied.  After realizing that we’d have a better chance of getting the babies back into momma’s uterus, the TSA worker then asked me to explain how to open it back up.  After giving him a tutorial on how to operate the stroller, we were able to walk through the security arches with our babies.  We then had to reverse the entire process and get everything back in order!  Babies back in carriers, snapped into the double stroller while our shoes were untied and coats were halfway secured to our torsos.  Carry-ons were hooked onto the stroller and carseat bases were dragging behind me.  Sweat ran from my brow and my hair was now a mess… but our babies were fast asleep!

Thankfully, the rest of the experience was great! We fed the twins as we took off and we managed to avoid a single messy burp or screaming baby.  Passengers thanked us for being so organized as we “de-planed.” Mission accomplished!  We made it to New York with no casualties and the babies were still fast asleep!  We were ready to enjoy the rest of the weekend!

My recommendations for flying with twins (for singletons too):

• Make a list of all the things your babies will consume throughout the duration of your trip.  Add a few extras taking accidents into account
• If you usually stagger your feedings, tag team them throughout your trip… you will be done in half the time, which frees up time for other tasks and activities
• These days, airlines are charging for all baggage that you check, you are better off biting the bullet and checking as much as you  can.  Trying to cut cost by going the “carry-on” route is a MAJOR logistical nightmare.  Do yourself a favor, bring your diaper bag, carriers and babies and THAT’S IT.  If it doesn’t fit in your coat pocket, check it underneath the plane!
• If you are bringing your carseats with you, it is a nightmare to travel with the bases.  If you can avoid it, leave them at home (make sure your seats are built for it, and that the seatbelts can loop through safely and securely)
• Things might not always go according to plan.  Delays are quite common, so don’t bank on your scheduled feedings happening on the plane… sometimes they happen at the gate.  BE PREPARED!
• Remember… if your ears are popping, so are your babies’.  Have a bottle handy, or at least a pacifier.  Make sure you coax them into sucking when you feel your own ears pop.
• Pacifier clips are AWESOME.  Don’t leave home without them!
• If you feed your babies formula, bring the ready made stuff along with you.  The last thing you want to deal with is preparing formula.  If you really don’t want to spend the extra cash, at least bring the ready made formula for the flight, it’s less hassle and more hygienic.
• If you are getting picked up at the airport, make sure the vehicle is big enough to accommodate the driver, BOTH car seats, Mommy, Daddy, AND all luggage! Otherwise, you might be better off renting a minivan for the trip.

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As my wife and I woke up from our nap with the twins, we each held one on our laps. All of a sudden, we found ourselves in the middle of what can only be described as the most adorable showdown of smiles between our son and daughter.  As we cheered each of our babies on with high pitched “hooray’s” and “yay’s” they would turn the tiny corners of their mouths up and show us their gums.  Were these really smiles?

We’ve seen each of our babies crack a little smile by reflex in the past, but this time was different, it seemed to be an exchange of communication amongst our little duo.  As the smiles ended and turned to yawns and later cries for food, we realized that our babies are growing up… they are rapidly changing and learning and soon enough these moments will simply be memories.

This little moment served as a reminder that though we might be overwhelmed by the magnitude of raising twins, everything will be alright.  Another twin dad shared with me once that it’s perfectly normal to go around all day worrying about all the little things you may have messed up, but at the end of the day, it will all be okay.  This moment made us realize that over the past three months we haven’t broken our children… in fact, we’ve got the smiles to prove it.

Hang in there dads… keep ‘em smiling!

Tags: Family

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I’m tired… oh so tired! My lack of blogging is a direct result of my lack of sleep and time.  My son has now taken to keeping us all (twin sister included) awake with his non-stop crying! It’s relentless! The only thing that will put him at ease is being held… mostly by mommy.  We’ve been checking his diaper, increasing his feed, giving him his pacifier (he’s a habitual spitter-outer)… nothing works!

CIO used to be the guy who signs my paycheck, but now it stands for “Cry it Out”… as in “I wish baby boy would just cry it out!”  This is a method that neither mom nor I can stomach, because seeing our little guy so upset tears us up inside.  We try it for about five minutes and he works himself up so much that he turns purple… it’s just not worth it!  The only thing that seems to work is bringing him to bed with us.  This is obviously not optimal but desperate times call for desperate measures.

With all of this attention going to baby boy, we’ve begun to feel as though we’re neglecting baby girl… so now she’s in bed with us as well.  This situation has made us realize two things:

1. We’re clueless
2. We need a bigger bed

I can’t help but feel as though we are reinforcing bad sleep habits, but we’re running out of options.  Since my second home is the internet, I’ve researched and read many opinions on Crying it out vs. Co-sleeping with baby.  As is mostly the case with baby topics, these have all been written by moms for moms.  I’m curious to know what other dads out there think about it.

How did you overcome your Cry Baby?

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It goes without saying that a man doesn’t have to share DNA with his “children” in order to be considered a Father.  The essence of Fatherhood is bearing the burden of the needs and well being of your family.  My family consists of not only my wife and children, but my two beloved canine companions.

At the risk of sounding like the Dog Whisperer, when it comes to the primal nature of pack animals, Fatherhood is being the Pack Leader.  Before my twins came along, our dogs were our children.  We were a close-knit pack that cared for each other’s needs, they provided companionship and love, and we cared for, played with and nurtured them.  In many ways, our dogs helped prepare us for parenthood… especially for twins!  For my wife, she learned how to nurture two living creatures who depend on her.  She learned how to devote time to each one to ensure that their developmental needs were being met.  While I share many of these same experiences, my dogs also prepared me for Fatherhood by helping me become the Pack Leader at home.

Without the pack leader, there is chaos.  In my absence, my dogs would attempt to claim toys, beds, couches, rooms… even my wife!  My dogs were constantly competing for status within our pack.  Many a dog fight would ensue.  Upon my return, however, they would put their differences aside and watch for my lead.   My dogs were begging for someone to take charge.  Once I realized that, I was empowered to be the Pack Leader.

Now that the twins have arrived, there is a different vibe at home.  Although my dogs have not yet met our infants, they know there is something going on.  They notice that my wife is not downstairs with them as much.  They hear the baby monitor, they see me holding one of the babies occasionally.  They have stopped fighting amongst themselves because they are aware of our infrastructural change and now only look to us for direction.  Our older female has stepped down and allowed our younger male to be the higher ranking member of the pack.

When the time is right, we will be introducing our dogs to our children, and it will be up to me to maintain the heirarchy and enforce the rules of the pack.  My wife and I obviously have a partnership and equal say in what goes on.  Without my wife, our home would fall apart.  But when it comes to the pack, I have a responsibility to lead.  To lay the groundwork for the direction in which we go.  To be firm but calm, affectionate but composed, playful but poised.

On this Fatherhood Friday, I prepare to unite the pack and promote order in my home.  I will lead by example and look out for the needs of every member of this pack.

What does your pack look like? Where do you fit in the heirarchy?  Is it working?

Picture source: ihasahotdog.com Submitter: Unknown

Fatherhood Friday is a new weekly theme from DadBlogs.  Come visit other Dad Bloggers and see what they’ve got to say on this Fatherhood Friday!

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An article was posted today on CBSNews.com about the advances in a technology that will allow us to select certain physical traits in our offspring.  According to Dr. Jeff Steinberg, pre-implantation genetic diagnosis or PGD will soon allow us to not only select the sex of our children, but allow us to choose other physical traits such as the color of their eyes, etc.  This technology was initially created to screen for disease, but has now opened the door for us to treat procreation like a trip to Build-A-Bear.

I can completely understand the desire to screen for genetic abnormalities or disease, I can even rationalize gender selection, but we have to draw the ethical line somewhere.  Having been through such an emotional rollercoaster with our multiple failed pregnancies, my wife and I were truly blessed with, above all else, healthy babies.  I mean sure they’re good looking (they’re mine!) but never once did it cross my mind that I wanted to Pimp My Fetus.  As a dad, it’s a pleasure to know that they were meant to have my lips and their mother’s frown (I know that look when I see it!)  It’s amazing to look at their eyes and wonder what color they’ll become.

I think we run the risk of opening the door to a world where vanity supercedes character.  I don’t think I could look my child in the eye if I paid for it’s color.  And what if things don’t turn out the way you thought they would?  Heaven forbid your child should have brown hair instead of the blond hair on your invoice!  I’m sure this clinic won’t have a customer service department for returns.

At the risk of putting on my Conspiracy Theory hat, I wonder how much of this is in the interest of governments who might want to build a better army… we all saw what happened in Star Wars, so I hope we won’t go there!  All Clone Wars aside, what about the Olympics or the wide world of sports on a whole? Who needs steroids when daddy had the foresight to buy you Michael Phelps’ lungs and Usain Bolt’s legs?

As I look at my children, I can undoubtedly say that I love them just as they are.  I’m not saying that parents who customize won’t love their children, but it’s hard to claim unconditional love when the arrangement is based on a series of conditions.

What are your thoughts?  Would you consider the option?

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As I mentioned last time, this week was my big return to the office.  Overall I think it went fairly well!  Surprisingly, the adjustment back to work was trickier than the adjustment at home.  Picking up where I left off at work almost two months ago was not as simple as I thought it would be, when it came to the babies however, it was business as usual!

There is no better feeling than coming home to the happy little look on the faces of my twins.  My daily return home right now is quite calm and uneventful, and there is not much to do other than feed and love on the babies.  I am quickly realizing, however, that this will not be the case in a few months.  As I think about how this picture will look down the road, I am reminded of the feeling I would get when my own Dad would come home.

As evening would roll around, I would stare out of the window waiting to see him walk down the street from where he would park his car (I grew up in the city.)  I would listen to hear my dad rustle around for his keys as he entered the building and would count the  minutes before he would check the mail and open the door.  Knowing my dad was finally home was one of the happiest moments of my day.  Considering my own reactions to my dad’s daily homecoming, I can’t help but feel as though it is ingrained in the mind of a child to jump for joy the moment daddy comes home.  I want to capitalize on that enthusiasm and make the most of those moments with my children.

On this Fatherhood Friday, I vow to capture every moment and give all that I’ve got to my kids.  I will strive to jump right in the moment I get home, to make my children’s day when they wait anxiously for my arrival and to greet in return with hugs, love, silliness, dancing, story telling and the occasional “horsey ride” around the house (my knees aren’t what they used to be!)  I want my kids to look back at their moments with dad and know that I missed them just as much as they missed me.

Fatherhood Friday is a new weekly theme from DadBlogs.  Come visit other Dad Bloggers and see what they’ve got to say on this Fatherhood Friday!

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